Fed Financial

first christmas together help?

my fiance and i haven't had the best of luck together. nothing ever seems to go right for us, and sometimes we argue and fight about things that shouldn't even matter. i'm 19 and he's 25 and he moved from his home in Florida to be with me in Virginia so i could finish school, leaving his whole life behind and his family. we haven't had the best of luck like I've mentioned before, and we aren't in the best financial state. i don't want this holiday to be miserable for him. we're about to have a baby and I want him to have a christmas like he's used to having. I want him to feel at home. how can i make this holiday special for him?

Public Comments

1. well no wonder you guys fight a lot age diffrence big on (not bad) try finding something you too like that might help
2. I think some books on relationships, communication and financial planning would make an excellent gift.
3. Instead of worrying about how his old Christmas was, start your own new traditions. Try romantic notions. Did you get him more then one gift? If so, On Christmas Eve, let him open one at night. Set out some candles and go for the romance angle. Also did you get him a gift from the baby. That should make him smile. Good Luck to you and remember things are always hard before they get easy! If you both stick it out it will work out. Its not about the material things you get for Christmas. Just try to make it special in other ways. Cook him a special meal. If you where not able to afford to buy him something. Then do a pamper him day. Where you cook his favorite meal, give him a back rub, I am sure you get the idea.
4. You don't have to spend a lot of money to have special Christmas memories...start your own 'traditions'...a stocking filled with small things...some home-made cookies..fruit...a poem written on a card...I wish you every happiness!
5. I'm sure this is a stressful time... but try and think before you speak so the arguing is at a minimum. Make him a special dinner, light some candles. If you can afford it, get him one gift and make him go on a scavenger hunt to find it. Play some games. Invite some friends over for a little while. Play Christmas tunes. Decorate with whatever you can. Simply make it festive.
6. when he comes home. be wearing a ribbon and that all. http://www.greendoorgifts.com/
7. why don't you cook him a nice diner and maybe lite up some beautiful candles and make sure that you show him how much you love him and appreciate him. If you have any money, go and buy him a cute shirt that says something like, "a daddy to be" or something and it will make him smile, or something like " we love you" its not the amount of money that you spend on him that matters, its the thought. and if he sees that you thought about him and wanted to make him happy, he will love you so much more!
8. Gee...common sense would say you are supposed to be married before having a kid....but then you did ask this ridiculous question of how to make is special....so much for common sense. I see folks don't like this answer...well the sooner folks take responsibility for their own stupidity the sooner they grow up
9. decorate to the best of your financial ability, stockings and all ($1 store has some great items believe it or not), and bake as much as you can: pies, side dishes, etc, have the place smelling like spice candles, and music playing when you can. and be as positive and cheery as you can be without being fake or overwhelming. Offer to go look at lights or maybe attend a cheap play in downtown or something. Watch old christmas movies together.
10. make him a nice romantic christmass diner tell him how much you love him and how you apreciatte him doing this sacrifices for you that would be a good christmass gift .
11. Okay, first question, why the hell did you marry at 19? Your way to young...your whole life, it'll just be miserable with love and family...you will not get to experience independence, and the life before a family. But that's not the point. If you want this Christmas to be specail, put up a tree and buy each other some gifts. When you say a specail christmas, it isn't a christmas like no other, it's a unique and different christmas. Do something different that he hasn't done on christmas day. Try not to argue.
12. this is our first Christmas together too. We also do not have much money to spend on the holidays. as I told my husband (of 9 months)) I have him this year and that's all that matters to me. What money we do have we are spending on my kids (though it isn't much). you have a baby on the way, buy something for the baby. he can call his family or have them call you, that way he'll still feel close to them on the holiday.
13. Instead of focusing on material gifts, try the ones that have more sentiment attached - those are the ones that really matter. Start making holiday traditions of your own, together as a family. Include the baby, too. Cook/bake for him - even if you're not very good in the kitchen, he'll appreciate your efforts. Give him a massage, scrub his back in the shower.... little things like that make all the difference!
14. A man can do anything with a good woman supporting him. Do what it takes to make him know that he is everything to you. Forget about the "Christmas he is used to having". Christmas is not about getting, it's about giving. You have soo much to offer him! The biggest and cherished gift of all isn't something you buy at the mall, it is the gift of giving your heart to him. Make him know that he owns your heart and soul and that you would never want things to be any less. Good luck to you guys and I hope you have the best Christmas and New Year ever!
15. Just a thought, and I know it's short notice now...But why don't you take a drive down to Florida, spend the holidays with his family and friends? You said you're finishing school, so you should be on vacation right now. You don't have a lot of money to do things on your own, so instead of trying to make Christmas what it used to be, just head south so that it is what it used to be for him. Hope this helps...It's nice to see such a young woman so concerned about her fiance. I wish there were more women like you out there. Good luck and Happy Holidays.
16. try to find someone your own age
17. Remember Christmas is about being together with your family. NOT about presents. You should make it special by asking his family to send a video message. The first year is especially difficult and to top it off with a baby. Wow... I was married 4 years before my first baby. My hormones were crazy and some days my husband couldnt stand me... Its gotta be hard trying to figure out a new marriage and pregnancy. Good Luck... Whatever you do... remember your still young you have an entire lifetime!
18. If you are comfortable talking to his family find out from them some of the traditions they practicfe during the holidays. Are there certain foods that he likes and is used to having mom make? Are there certain gifts he's used to getting? Be creative and use his family as your resource, he will recognize your efforts and you will have a happy holiday.
19. It takes a long time to adjust to living together, especially if you don't have family around. Start your own traditions for Christmas. Make a very special dinner, rent a Christmas movie, and make sure you call both of your families. Relationships don't take luck, they are the hardest job you will ever have.
20. Cook a nice dinner and call his family and friends and then a little hanky panky should make him happy! Merry Christmas.
21. I would ask him what he thinks is most special about Christmas. Listen to his thoughts and try to make your choices based on them.