Fed Financial
Financial woes or commitment phobic??
My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I recently stayed with him for 2 months during my winter semester holiday. Before I arrived, we had talked about getting engaged soon and the option of my being more than welcome to stay with him after my break was over (essentially, starting to live with him and not continuing school.) Then, towards the end of my stay with him, he says that he can't afford to support me until I find a job, and that it'd be the easiest option for us to me to return to school and come back in the summer to find employment. Whenever theres talk about getting engaged or my staying with him now, he always uses financial difficulties as an explanation as to why he can't propose or why it would be a lot easier for us to wait until I graduate to be together. He has a job in finance so it's not like he's struggling to get by on minimum wage. Is he putting off commitment and avoiding having to struggle to be together or is money the only reason? In addition, he doesn't pay for everything. During my stay there, I paid for bills (gas & electricity) once (even though he lives with 2 other guys) without getting paid back, also paid for eating out sometimes, paid for groceries during the week (he paid for them on the weekend), etc. The only big cost that he has to shoulder is to pay for my work permit so I can legally work in the country he's in. I told him I could pay for it, but I guess its a macho man thing, he insists he feels he should pay. I'm really confused about what his true intentions are, if he has any.
Public Comments
- Sounds like an excuse, but did you help pay for stuff while you were there for 2 months? If not, he may have felt used and you need to make it up to him.
- I don't know what the deal is with him, but as far YOU ... it sounds like you are close to getting your degree. It would be stupid not to finish.
- He sounds a little scared of commitment! Financial woes are just an excuse!
- It don't seem like he loves you, and secondly if he's not strugling then he's cheap because he let you pay for things and not him. It's possible that he could have "cold feet". Talk to him to get inside his head and find out what's going on.
